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Monday, August 06, 2012

For You Men Out There

This post has been due in that one can learn so many things about ones perspective having been engaged with the realities. So it was with me that I was at a loss of how to deal with,  that my sweet wife gave me a book to read. It has been a source of comfort in that you get to understand the process that your own wife may be going through.

Men most certainly can come in all sizes that you quickly see how the differences between men and women shows itself as one reads. Men,  did you know you can get it too?  Ultimately, it is about listening to your wife.


Breast Cancer Husband

Marc Silver on Marc Silver:
I'm the author of BREAST CANCER HUSBAND: How to Help Your Wife (And Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond, and a great believer in the motto of the breast cancer husband: "Shut up and listen." Really, it works for just about any husband.
 When Marsha was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001, I wished I had a book to guide me through the difficult months ahead, because I had no clue what to do. In the spring of 2002, after Marsha finished her treatments, I began working on the proposal for BREAST CANCER HUSBAND. Even though many publishers told me that "men don't buy self-help books," I was sure this was one book that guys would buy–and if they didn't, their wives would buy it for them.

This book has been a constant reference guide for me.When at a loss of focus it helped bring the focus back.

In hind sight when talking with my wife we came to some conclusions about the process itself in that when ever she had to make a decision it should have been from having all the information available. By having it at   her finger tips further decisions could have been made better.  So an additional resource that helped was something your surgeon may make inclusive in your package for what decisions you make about the choices given.

Intelligent Patient Guide to Breast Cancer
5th edition, 2011.

by Ivo Olivotto, Karen Gelmon, David McCready and Urve Kuusk.  This book is available free of charge in the kit.  It can also be borrowed from the BC Cancer Agency Library or can be purchased at your local bookstore.


This is very important information and a woman can be inundated with a lot considering her feelings and bombardment of what she has to face. Here I put of importance the help of your Cancer Coordinator as to the help in clarifications as vital. Even as I sit trying to scoop as much info as I can, being impacted emotional as well one tends to miss questions as my wife did or just could not process.

We have reflected on this as wondering if we could have taped or recorded the conversation so as to get the full scope of the process your surgeon may reveal to you. So we saw this as a possible avenue you might want to take so you can go back an see exactly what was said. This might be useful.


5 comments:

pratima said...

I think this book is essential for every husband to helf their wife suffering from cancer.
Here’s
my link back to you

PlatoHagel said...

After a year of Surgery, Chemo, Radiation and follow up treatment for the type of breast cancer, my wife is doing good. The margins were clear at year out.


Support from other woman going through the process at the same time were a big help to my wife, and her, to them. A big help to me.



http://www.breastcancer.org/

PlatoHagel said...

A new cancer clinic opened up in our town so it was fortunate we did not have to travel to another center where this facility was located. Thus she was able to receive her surgery, chemo and radiation right here.

This made the journey a little easier. She found a support group which contained ladies who were all going through the process at the same time. They formed a group and these were woman all over the United Sates and Canada.

They are currently meeting in Las Vegas, Nevada.

She is having a good time. These ladies helped her immensely, and her them. This has made the journey much easier to handle knowing that others were experiencing different forms of Chemo and different surgeries, and they exchange current information for their understanding of what was to come and what came after each process.

You are so right about the progress being made. She is currently reading a book that documents the historic journey and procedures for cancer development and research.


Best,

RBM said...

Good things can come from the strangest places.

RBM said...

Glad to hear things are progressing well for the wife - and for you.


There's lot more that is useful and available for folks going through/sharing this sort of experience than a decade ago when I had my experience.



Take Care